It's a Means to an End

Life on the rock is surreal.

It's surreal because despite the fact a great deal of my friends

have gone,

I am having the best time with the few friends

...I have left.

I was wrong to think I would be bored, lonely

and left with nothing to do...

on the contrary!

I AM SO BUSY I NEVER HAVE TIME TO MYSELF

(explains why blogging this month has been at its minimum)

I'm not going to put this right in riddles...

I think the time has come for some

classy bullet points.

See, what happens is... I

1. meet Annie and Daisy everyday for lunch at the post office, 1.30 sharp.

2. have midweek sleepovers, eating shitty £1 pizzas from Iceland.

(Apparently they freeze their food for YEARS and because of inflation sell it off with a little proffit - bastards)

3. try to make it to the gym at least twice a week

4. get the (fucking) bus twice a day, 5 days a week

5. get ridiculously ruined on friday night

6. sober up with X factor and a 'gurls night in' on saturday night

7. still cook a killer sunday fry up

8. work 8.45am - 5pm, monday - friday

9. file

(today was epic as I got to pick staples out of paper and then scan the paper onto a computer)

10. don't actually hate my job,

but I certainly don't want to be a 'filing clerk' for the rest of my days.

It's a means to an end.

There are other things I need to catch up on

Birthdays, Halloween...

but for now

all you're getting is

'random drunk times'

Enjoy.

beautiful emma, beautiful dress

and beautiful nails

Looking for the party

...These guys showed us the way

Annie LAW left Liverpool for the weekend and came home

Lizard Channel

Not so sober after dinner with the work collegues.

(after dinner with the work collegues I may have snogged a 16 year old unknowingly - yes, I did just say snogged - I may have winked at a man I decided was called Paolo and I may have woken up in the morning wondering how the hell I got home...)

Great night.

Happy blogging!

p.s. I don't have a taste for minors, I promise!!

:/

No Men

I've been getting it all wrong

the words running through my head before peter and I broke up

'single'

'independent'

'freedom'

are like misguided rumours...

I've been told to look around at the boys available

Dress seductively

- I've even launched myself onto some poor soul when I was drunk one night.

I've been thinking about them

and not about me

What do I want?

How do I feel?

I want to know me... what makes me tick

I want to be able to depend on myself

and nobody else

when it comes to happiness

I'll wear what I like and I'll eat what I like

and I'll go to the gym

for me, not for anybody else.

ah..... I like this. No men.

Square

I feel

that since this is a blog I use to document my life's events,

I should tell you all about my work.

What it is that I do...

How I feel about it

etc etc.

If I hadn't been verbally and physically abused every time the word

FILING

came out of my mouth tonight,

maybe I would have.

But I don't want you to hate me too...

So instead I shall update you on a few of the fun things in life.

Site Seeing.. at home.

The day before P left, we went to ye old Gorey Castle and took a look around.

Was nice.

Then P left

and Jersey Live happened.

Pre drinking at 12pm

leads to bad things

and great things.

That classic annual photograph

A not so classic photo, love it

Trendy

Quick and the Dead

Groooooove Amarda

(fuck, they're amazing)

Was a good weekend.

It was also the catalyst to one of the most depressive weeks I've ever known

but life has fixed itself a little since then.

Now, I know you're wondering about the square photos.

Photobucket and I have had a falling out...

(you must have noted the lack of photos in the rest of my blog)

that means no more beautiful rounded edges.

No more charm.

I'll get over it soon

and my fun lovin' side should return.

But 'till then,

Chao,

Happy Blogging

Bad Repuation

Friday - My last official day of school! Though.. It wasn't really my last official day of school... they brought on study leave a week early but I still need to go into school next week, so i'm not gunna cry about it. (perhaps i'm just in denial)

Friday night - It was my friend, Pip's 18th birthday party, just a small crowd of about 50 people (although there was a marquee, buffet and free bar). I had to work Saturday morning so I resisted the free bar and the coach to town and drove home at half 11, very damaging for my reputation.

The buffet was frikin awesome

That's Daisy, I've mentioned her before

Things got a little crazy in the marquee...

...So we moved the craziness outside.

Saturday - WORK WORK WORK. I had to go into work in the morning from 9 − 12 and then I had to go BACK AGAIN from 4 − 6.30. It was such a gorgeous day and I work in a duty free 'cave' at the harbour, dealing with French people shouting at me as I stare blankly at them saying 'je suis desole!!!'. (My rep seriously plummeting)

Saturday night - Emma's 18th! I escaped work and had 15 minutes to get ready. (I was an HOUR late). Em hosted a dinner party and we all ate yummy tai green curry and more birthday cupcakes (I told you, they are so IN right now). We got a little coach into town and we boogied away... it was so much fun and I was having a ball... until something extremely unfortunate happened. Who happened to turn up to the same club at the same time? T and L... I did my best to avoid any conflicts, but this meant just leaving my friends.. going home.. alone.. passing out on the sofa and feeling pretty sorry for myself. But you know, it could have been worst.

Saturday night

wahoooo Celebrations

At the end of the night (note the anxious look on my face)

I hope it won't be like this every weekend for the rest of the summer!!!

& I hope you all had a lovely weekend, free from work and anxiety.

Love, Get Outta Here!

I have been avoiding this subject like the plague... but seeing as right now, (the moment when all I want to do is hide away in my house and revise) love and drama and arguments spill out, and bloggers, I must vent! Last year, at the very beginning of 2009, I began going out with this boy (lets call him T). We had the best year, he was in the year above me and super cool, sporty, funny, handsome... and I fell for him fast (totally cliché). I loved it because, living on a tiny island, you don't tend to discover boys who you don't already know as somebody's ex, or the guy who ate bugs that time, (you catch my drift). He was new and shinny. And so easy to love.

Why is it that all good things must come to an end? University. Brilliant. It seems to me that change is inevitable, cruel and quick when your a kid and there ain't nothin' you can do about it! Well, that's not what I thought at the time. We broke up, but I didn't let him go. I spoke to him nearly every single day and missed him like mad - but he wasn't having any of it. It was only when I gave up on him (and kissed L on my 18th birthday) that he gave up on 'the single life' at uni and asked me back out. FAB, I was over the moon! But looking back, I was also extremely naive and a serious dreamer. It just wasn't the same... effort went from 90% to 20% and I found myself beginning to resent, distrust and even get a little bored of our relationship. I had been left behind on this rock, in this little bubble that is Jersey, left to wait around and work. It got too much.

I broke up with him at the beginning of this year, thinking 'If T turned around now and told me he had cheated on me, I wouldn't be surprised and I don't think i'd even mind'. But wow. I did not foresee his reaction, he tried everything in his power to get me back... but it was all too late. My mind had moved on and my heart was following slowly behind. I had met somebody else... well, actually, I had begun to like somebody else. This guy, L, (I had kissed him on my 18th birthday) has been a friend of mine for a long time... and I was the only one who didn't seem to realise I liked him. Everybody would say things like 'so, when are you and L getting together?'. It wound me up so much! But look where we are now. Sigh. I'm caught between the two.

So this is where I end my long, long, brief (and perhaps boring) story of love - the foundation of all the hurt and confusion and distraction that has filled my life this week. T has returned from uni, so angry with me for seeing L... he hates me, though he still wants to fix it, to have another summer of fun.. meanwhile L doesn't want to see me anymore (at least whilst I act like a mole, staying in and revising) But I still like the guy...

So what do I do now?

Go back with T, stick around for L or....

take a trip to Single Town?

(haha)

Being single right now could be very wise. I'd quite like to pass my exams...

Exams, oh yer, I should be revising!

Story over.

Oh, and by the by, those photos above are not of me and my lovers. Just some friends!

(I bet it crossed your mind)